They already made the movie about my life

So I'm flicking channels at 3 AM and she took him by the hand, looked soulfully into his heroically bleeding arms, legs, abdomen, torso, and forehead after he saved them both from the zombie apocalypse and then she tenderly whispered,

"It looks like we may be the last man and woman left on earth, and Tom, I want you to know I'll always think of you as a friend."

And I'm like,

"Yeah, me too."

Except actually I'm not, but that's another movie, and it's even better than the first one.