"There are only two ways of telling the complete truth—anonymously and posthumously."Thomas Sowell

Thursday, April 21, 2016

The Original Donald Trump

Simon, by Marshall Brickman, 1980

    "I will tell you. There is too much bad stuff around. Bad food, bad drink, bad art, bad ideas, everything's all clogged up. So, what we're going to do, is we're going to get rid of all the bad stuff, and that will be a very good beginning. Now, I have here a list of things which I'd like written into the constitution immediately, after which I promise you your lives will be less tense and more rewarding."

  • All muzak in elevators, airports, restaurants and other public rooms will cease immediately.
  • No more children or animals may be used to sell products
  • Lawyers who lose cases will go to jail with their clients
  • No doctor may write a diet book, any doctor who does will immediately lose his license and become a dentist
  • I think we don't really need a House of Representatives and a Senate, the Romans didn't have one so let's just have a Senate, okay? 
  • I think it would be a very good idea from now on, all politicians who appear in public wear cone-shaped party hats. Not bad, huh?
  • Pollution: anybody who owns a factory that makes radioactive waste has to take it home at night with them to his house
  • No member of the government who gets arrested may write a book about it
  • I want to talk about these guys who pull their car into an intersection before the other side is clear and then the light changes and the intersection is blocked. Let's get on that right away. $10,000 fine for blocking the intersection. I really hate those guys.
Justice and a better way of life, that's what we're talking about isn't it? Who's in charge around here? 

THINK ABOUT IT. What of the formula for Orange Julius? The secret white powder that makes it a devilishly good drink? Why is it a secret? I WANT THAT FORMULA!"

Wake up! Start using the right half of your brains. You can move the world with an idea but you have to think of it first!

Actually, the Simon makes a lot more sense than The Donald. I love me some Orange Julius. Bigtime. Justice and a better way of life. I want that formula!

1 comment:

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