"There are only two ways of telling the complete truth—anonymously and posthumously."Thomas Sowell

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Paleface Scalps Indian

The NCAA is banning the use of Native American mascots for college sports teams even though the Seminole tribe thinks being Florida State's symbol is pretty cool, and probably not bad free advertising for their casinos and smoke shops. As tribal councilman Max Osceola puts it:

"It's like history--they left the natives out...They have non-natives telling natives what's good for them or how they should use their name. You have a committee made up of non-natives telling people that they can not use a native name when you have a native tribe--a tribal government, duly elected and constituted--that said they agree with Florida State."

It figures. The fascist patronizing paternalistic racist oppressor white male power establishment screws the Red Man once again "for his own good." I've half a mind to call the ACLU, but I lost their number. (Permanently.)


Hunter Baker said...

As an FSU Seminole in good standing, I'm ready to take up my weapons of war and kick some lily-white establishment a$$!

And no, I can't be part of the establishment. I'm a disenfranchised evangelical! :)

Kathy Hutchins said...

In a surprise announcement, the NCAA banned Indiana University from using its 200 year old institutional name, even though IU has no Indian-themed mascot, or indeed any mascot at all. When asked for clarification, NCAA President Myles Brand barked "It's been been five years and those %&$# Hoosiers are still yelling at me about Bob Knight. Bite me." Brand then realized he was conducting the interview from NCAA corporate offices in Indianapolis, whereupon his head exploded.

In the wake of this unexpected development, the University of Illinois is unsure whether ditching Chief Illiniwek will satisfy the NCAA, or if the entire state of Illinois will have to change its name.

Hunter Baker said...

Beautiful, Kathy. We got a whole lotta geography to rename, don't we. Let's just wipe out the Indians all over again. It's name-icide.

Jay D. Homnick said...

First they dumped the Nativity scenes and created these semi-Noels; now it's the natives and the Seminoles.

Only one question remains: can we still scalp tickets?

Tom Van Dyke said...

As a lover of good punmanship, I still must say, ouch, Jay.