"There is always a philosophy for lack of courage."—Albert Camus

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Waist Lines

Wow, that Town Hall outfit is a-hoppin' and a-buzzin' today with letters and comments, most of them favorable to my position against creating formalistic or governmental entities to make war on overeating. But a minority think that I have come to defend the adipose and the corpulent, that I am downplaying the danger of obesity. I counter by saying that cultural venues such as print media are the appropriate locale for appeals to the populace to curb its intake.

To prove my sincerity, I dug up this cute bit of satire I did a few years back. (I censored out an inappropriate stanza, but I left in the one that refers to 'vomit'. If that's too strong for you, my apologies.)

THE BULIMIC'S SONG

Not for me the alfalfa grain
No, I will not eat any millet
Won't touch it if it had no brain
Won't eat it unless I can kill it.

Doesn't take more than a twinge
Not even that full-scale urge
And I'm ready to start a new binge
And to clean up with a fresh purge.

In spring that the snow melts in
Or winter when it keeps on fallin'
I still binge even more than Yeltsin
And I still purge more than Stalin.

Oh, you would certainly cringe
To see how much I will splurge
When it's time to start a new binge
And to clean up with a fresh purge.

I might miss the New Year's Ball
And I may miss Haley's Comet
But I never miss that Last Call
And I never miss my daily vomit.

I don't shoot up with a syringe
And drugs are not my scourge
But it's time to start a new binge
And to clean up with a fresh purge.

5 comments:

James Elliott said...

Given that this piece has an appalling lack of understanding of bulimia as a mental illness, I don't want to find it funny. But I do. I really do. Bad liberal. No tofu.

Jay D. Homnick said...

That is a great line, James: "Bad liberal. No tofu." I have been chucklinh all night.

The Classic Liberal Anonymous said...

No more coffee for me while reading TRC. About once a week it gets sprayed onto my keyboard.

Funny, though, as most of the time it happens the poster wasn't trying to be funny! :)

James Elliott said...

I hate tofu. Except when it's soaked in miso. Absurd amounts of salt make anything palatable.

Sometimes I'm far too insensitive for my profession.

Kathy Hutchins said...

I hate tofu. Except when it's soaked in miso.

Since I'm a raving wingnut, I don't have a need to justify tofu hatred. However, there is tofu and then there is tofu. I have a recipe for hot and sour soup that is both unbelievably easy and delicious. My kids actually look forward to meatless Fridays now because I usually make it. Let me know if you want the recipe.