"There is always a philosophy for lack of courage."—Albert Camus

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Oh, That... That's Tomorrow's News

Being a Reform Club member has to count for something, especially after the novelty of the secret decoder ring wears off.

So now we are offering a prepublication glimpse at an article whose other millions of readers have to contain themselves until tomorrow.

Yes, it's just what you have been waiting for: an omnibus article cataloguing some of the distinctive features of the modern-day Democrat and Republican.

And if I must offer a little teaser of a taste to get you to chew on our links, here is a mere morsel:


IF YOU'RE too dumb to figure out a butterfly ballot, then you're probably trying to vote for that smart Democrat Presidential candidate. If you are smart enough to handle the ballot, you are probably voting for that dumb Republican.

If you're afraid to take a magnetic resonance image because your nose ring might stick to the magnet, you're a Democrat. If you're afraid to bob for apples at the church carnival because your tie might fall into the water, you're a Republican.

12 comments:

Hunter Baker said...

As our good friend Homer would say, "It's funny because it's true."

James Elliott said...

Actually, Homer said, "It's funny because it's not me." And he was talking about the movie "Red Ashphalt."

Jay's piece is only funny because it's what intellectual Republicans like to think makes them better than gutter Republicans. Really, it's no better than Ann Coulter.

Tom Van Dyke said...

If you own a copy of the Kama Sutra, you're a Democrat. If you own any books on military history, you're surely a Republican.

Jay D. Homnick said...

There you go, Tom, buying into the myth that Democrats have boring sex lives and need to find books describing the pretzel position - in hopes that a weird configuration might relieve the monotony.

I do, however, agree with your contention that Republicans know how to really make it enjoyable: actually loving your partner.

Jay D. Homnick said...

I can live with "no better than Ann Coulter," James. I'm easy.

tbmbuzz said...

All of which begs the question: why do Republicans turn into drunken, spending, vote-buying Democrats when they get elected as legislators?

Tom Van Dyke said...

Yes, you did beg the question, tbm, as in putting your answer in your premise. :-)

I suppose the answer is, then, that everybody does it. The only difference is that Republicans feel guilty about it afterwards.

tbmbuzz said...

Tom Van Dyke said...
Yes, you did beg the question, tbm, as in putting your answer in your premise. :-)

I suppose the answer is, then, that everybody does it. The only difference is that Republicans feel guilty about it afterwards. <<


Seriously, for the 2000/2004 election cycles I really felt that it would be good for the country to have the White House and both houses of Congress under Republican control for the first time in living memory. I am now of the opinion that the only way to even marginally control runaway federal spending on all sorts of unnecessary junk is to split control of the White House and Congress between the two parties.

James Elliott said...

If you own a copy of the Kama Sutra, you're a Democrat. If you own any books on military history, you're surely a Republican

I own both. What does that make me?

Hunter Baker said...

A New Democrat.

Kathy Hutchins said...

I own both. What does that make me?

A New Democrat.

Is that the kind that pastes a "Make Love and War" bumpersticker on his hybrid Hummer?

Tlaloc said...

By the way, anyone want to comment on the AEI feteing Chalabi?