When, in the course of Human Events, it becomes necessary for me to publish my first piece in that magazine, a decent respect to the opinions of Reform Clubbers require that I drop them a preview.
Here's a glimmer:
Our Republican friends seem to have forgotten this advice. Perhaps they’re afraid to take the Dale Carnegie course because Carnegie was a rich industrialist who doesn’t poll well with Reagan Democrats. One thing is for certain. They’re sour and dour for all to see. Staggering around looking like halfway between dyspepsia and catalepsy. It’s their party and they’ll cry if they want to. The last Republican to crack a smile was Tom DeLay, and that was on his mug shot.
Wherefore this ennui? What welts have caused this schmerz? The answer is: fear itself. Nothing bad has actually happened yet. It’s just that they’re apprehensive about this year’s congressional elections. Now, everyone is a little chicken before an election, but this is more like Chicken Little mode. I never worried as much about finals as these guys are fretting over midterms.
Are we talking about Dale Carnegie or Andrew, my friend?
ReplyDeleteIn fact, it’s time to coin a brand new axiom: “Realism should be as much of a check against pessimism as it is against optimism.”
ReplyDeleteExcellent, Jay.
I knew if I added the word 'industrialist' it would suggest Andrew more than Dale, but Dale was certainly a wealthy cheerleader of industrialism, to be more exact.
ReplyDeleteAnd apropos of nothing at all, no one should go without reading Dale's bio of Honest Abe.
"Remember, the guy running against you is trying to look like a winner so people will make him a winner; but you already are a winner! You won the last time, remember? The pundits said nay then, too, but the voters said yea so you said yay. You can gainsay the naysayers again."
ReplyDeleteI had to be physically constrained from doing harm to myself after reading that... whatever it is. Just when I started warming up to you, you remind me why I hate so much of today's writing.
Of course, you're laughing all the way to the ATM and I can't get an agent, so I'll have to leave room for being wrong, at least in today's market. =]
With respect, James. The reason I'm at the ATM is precisely because I don't sound like other writers.
ReplyDeleteWhich is not to say that everyone enjoys this sort of thing. But those who do, do very much. It's a niche I'm happy to scratch.
While I don't enjoy "wordplay" type writing ("abhor" might be a better term), you're easily one of the best at it I've ever seen. And it is a style that is very popular, especially among the "literary" set. You're fairly unique among the political commentariat in its usage.
ReplyDeleteJames, the diagnosis is clear. In the words of Delbert McClinton:
ReplyDeleteI watch you come in here
Night after night
You sit over in the corner
Where there ain't no light.
You've got a beautiful smile
But you don't have fun
Somethin' about you, baby,
Been left undone.
You've been over here in the dark so long
I ain't no doctor but I know what's wrong:
YOU'VE NEVER BEEN ROCKED ENOUGH
YOU'VE NEVER BEEN ROLLED JUST RIGHT
YOU'RE ALL TENSE AND NERVOUS
HONEY, YOU'RE TOO UPTIGHT.
YOU'VE NEVER BEEN ROCKED ENOUGH
YOU'VE NEVER BEEN ROLLED JUST RIGHT...
Wow. Coming from you, directed at me, I'm tempted to say you've had your own "Brokeback moment."
ReplyDeleteI keep my books in the breakfront.
ReplyDeleteBut my point to you is that you need to learn how to hold a word to the light and turn it every which way like a jewel - and be open to all the different ways it reflects the light. Then you'll find your agent.