"There is always a philosophy for lack of courage."—Albert Camus

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Word Up, Middle Eastern-style

Dear People of Lebanon:

The first sortie by our air force over your town isn't dropping bombs, but dropping this leaflet. We try to be good that way.

Congratulations on your latest attempt at democracy and self-determination that you called the Cedar Revolution, after your national tree. As you well know, Israel recently occupied your country for 20 years, but left of its own accord.

The Cedar Revolution kicked out the Syrian army. Good for you. Unfortunately, you let the stateless terrorist group Hizbollah into southern Lebanon, along with 10,000+ offensive rockets, all pointed at Israel.

That's unacceptable to us, and we hope you'll understand why. We know that you figured they were our problem, but we regret to inform you that Hizbollah is your problem, too.

Please leave town whilst we kick their ass.

Sincerely,
Your Neighbor Israel, Which Has a Lot of Jews in It



and...

Dear Jews:

Die. You are pigs and monkeys.

Love,
Hizbollah

P.S.---Here comes a rocket or six. They should touch down a few seconds after you read this. Don't say you weren't warned.


1 comment:

Tlaloc said...

"As you well know, Israel recently occupied your country for 20 years, but left of its own accord."

Ah revisionism...



"Please leave town whilst we kick their ass."

And never mind that if you try to leave town we'll bomb your car anyway, and if you can't leave town due to age, poverty, or simply fear of us shooting you in the back then know we'll simply kill you and not care. Thank you.

Ah the wonderful humanitarianism of the Israeli government.